Posted by Teddy Panos, Sun Staff

Having finally shed that giant road gorilla off their backs, the Celtics can now focus on closing out the Pistons as quickly as possible to get a bit of rest before the Lakers come to town for the NBA Finals. (How’s that for a subtle prediction?) Here’s hoping Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobili and Mr. Eva Longoria can stretch Kobe and company to seven games.

Speaking of the Desperate Housewife, has anybody seen her and Tampa Bay Rays rookie 3rd base sensation Evan Longoria in the same place at the same time? What are the odds that two such high profile people of the opposite sex would have such similar names?

In case you hadn’t noticed, the Red Sox have suddenly morphed into the playoff version of the Celtics. The road losing streak now stands at seven (heading into a late Monday night contest in Seattle), while the Fenway winning string is ten. Not sure if that will mean anything come October, but you might want to put a little extra effort into rooting for the American League at the All-Star game, which determines home field advantage for the World Series.

My favorite note from last week’s paper: Tewksbury High’s softballers were 17-2 on the season. Ace pitcher Marissa Fiorentino was sporting a 15-2 record, which means she’d started 17 of her team’s 19-games at that point.

If Sydney Crosby is to save the NHL, he must do what Wayne Gretzky and his Oilers did in the 80’s…hoist Lord Stanley’s Cup. And what better team to do it against than the Detroit Red Wings, who play in what’s commonly referred to as Hockeytown U.S.A.? Of course, Gretzky and his mates stumbled in their first crack at the Cup against the mighty New York Islanders, before avenging the loss the following spring. I’m not so sure today’s NHL can afford the luxury of waiting a year for its savior to rescue it.

Speaking of troubled sports, as the entire horse racing world holds its collective breath, Big Brown’s handlers continue to insist their Triple Crown threat will be just fine despite a crack on the inside of his left front hoof. I hope they’re right and I hope their thoroughbred recovers in time to put on a Secretariat-like performance at the Belmont. Because if they’re wrong and something tragic happens, the Sport of Kings will see a public revolt it’ll never recover from.

By the way, do Big Brown’s continued foot problems make him the Bill Walton of his craft? Not having seen Bill Russell play, or Wilt in his prime, I still say Big Red was the most dominant NBA center of my lifetime…for that year and a half his feet didn’t betray him, anyway.

Finally, with Emmit Smith, Apolo Anton Ohno, Helio Castroneves and Kristi Yamaguchi winning the last four titles, isn’t it only a matter of time before we’re forced to endure an all-jocks “Dancing with the Stars” competition?

Not that any of this should come as a surprise. I mean, you never see soap opera stars busting a move when they’ve successfully completed a scene. Athletes, on the other hand, have long celebrated accomplishment by busting a move.

Deion Sanders took the groundwork laid by Billy “White Shoes” Johnson and Icky Woods and turned the touchdown dance into an art form. Heck, even Antoine Walker would “wiggle” with every meaningless hoop. Of course, they can all thank Muhammad Ali, who was so great he would bust out the “Ali Shuffle” in the middle of a contest where someone was trying to know his head off.

Think Fred Astaire ever had to duck a right hook by Gene Kelley?