Posted by Teddy Panos, Sun Staff
My baseball team is in shambles!
Not the Red Sox. They’re doing surprisingly well considering the crazy April travel schedule. No, I’m talking about my fantasy baseball team, a collection of supposed “talent” that’s keeping me awake at night and ruining my weekends.
You fantasy geeks out there know exactly what I mean. We live and breathe these make-believe entities. We draft them. We nurture them. We scream at them through the computer when they bat a collective 5-for-42 on Sunday afternoon. We even trade and dump them when they’re no longer of any use to us. Kind of like George Steinbrenner, minus the mega-millions, of course.
And how do these ingrates repay us? Well, by acting like real life major leaguers, that’s how! What’s that you say? They ARE real life major leaguers? Hey, don’t stop my momentum now. I’m about to unleash a Belushi-like rant from the “Animal House” scene where they’re breaking down Delta house.
“Wormer? He’s a dead man! Marmalade? Dead! Niedermeyer? Dead! Lugo?…”
So maybe James “Bluto” Blutarsky, even with his 0.00 GPA, wouldn’t have been stupid enough to draft the Sox shortstop, but you feel my pain, don’t you? Who hasn’t gambled on a player making a comeback from a disappointing season? Is it too much to ask a major leaguer to hit a ball out of the infield from time to time? Thank heavens Lugo can still run, otherwise he wouldn’t have an RBI all year. The only way he plates a runner from third is by beating out the throw on a potential double play grounder he just tapped to shortstop. AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
OK, enough ranting. I feel better now. Time to get to the point of this pointless article.
I need your help. I’m placing the fate of my fantasy team, and what’s left of my sanity, in your hands. I need your advice on who to keep, who to trade and who to outright get rid of just for the satisfaction of dumping his sorry name onto the waiver wire!
Realistic suggestions only, please. Don’t tell me to try trading for Hanley Ramirez by offering Kosuke Fukudome and Yunel Escobar. I’ve already tried that. (An aside here: don’t know what’s a scarier thought…that I know who Kosuke Fukudome and Yunel Escobar are, that I know how to spell their names, or that they’re the only two guys on my roster performing above expectations!)
Is there a sleeper out there I should try waking up? Is there a baby-faced minor leaguer I should shave off the free agent list when he gets called up to the big club? There aren’t many established stars that are underachieving available. If there were, they’d probably already be on my team.
The biggest area of need is slugging. My offense, despite the presence of big boppers Ryan Howard and Ryan Braun is showing less power than a Clinton backer on the Democratic National Committee.
Here’s what I have for offense, which is proving quite offensive: Howard, Braun, Joe Mauer, B.J. Upton, Lugo, Scott Rolen, Alex Gordon, Escobar, Delmon Young, Fukudome, Willie Taveras, Jeremy Hermida and Nick Swisher.
The pitching staff is comprised of Carlos Zambrano, Ben Sheets, Joe Saunders, Jered Weaver, Scott Olsen, Francisco Liriano, Todd Jones, Kerry Wood, Joakim Soria, Tony Pena and Guillermo Mota. The disabled list is stocked with Vernon Wells, Pedro Martinez and Joel Zumaya.
So there you have it, my baseball brethren. That’s my pathetic team. It's now squarely in your hands. Help improve it and not only will I be forever in your debt, but I’ll give you credit for the turnaround in the paper. Do nothing, and run the risk of me starting a food fight and ruining the homecoming parade!
Any friendly advice?
Comments (8)
I hate Vernon Wells. Great ability but can't seem to break though to greatness! Other than that, you're on your own buddy! LOL!
Posted by T2 | May 12, 2008 5:16 PM
Posted on May 12, 2008 17:16
Dude - pack it in for 2008. LOL.
Your main problem is that EVERYONE you have is underachieving. You have no one that's on a hot streak that could allow you to make a trade for a better player who's struggling - you already have them all!
You need to "ride the storm out" and wait until the Brauns, Howards, Swisher, et al actually do something- at which point you can get yourself some notorious "great spring" guys for next year and then next year you do the opposite - you trade FOR Howard, Braun, et al in about June or July and reap the rewards.
You do have Mauer so you *could* make a deal with him but he's good value at his position so dealing him unless you get a younger guy than Mauer probably doesn't make sense...
It would be easier if you provided some rosters of potential trading partners to see if a match can be made- the old principles of checking the standings and seeing who can use power to move up a lot in the standings but has speed or pitching to spare- you ought to be able to deal a struggling power guy to a team like that but without seeing your rosters I can't really help ya...
Posted by dboisver | May 12, 2008 9:28 PM
Posted on May 12, 2008 21:28
Problem, DB, is that I can only keep one guy from one year to the next. And that was Howard for me. You simply can't have a .180 average from your keeper and be in good shape. Not to mention, Braun just started belting homers.
Oh well, I will ride out the storm for the most part because I believe water seeks its level. Some minor tweaking here and there...Hermida and Rolen were waiver pickups last week, so we'll see.
Rotisserie number-wise, I'm in the middle of the pack...Head to head (which is what the league is, I'm 9th out of 10)
Posted by Teddy P. | May 13, 2008 7:04 AM
Posted on May 13, 2008 07:04
OK- you left out all of this necessary information. LOL.
Definitely I would not move Howard or Braun until/unless they start to hit because the player in your league that has someone like Connor Jackson or Youk can try to dangle one of them in hopes of landing Howard and then you've basically given them the league title once he starts to hit (he WILL eventually hit with Utley and Burrell in the lineup around him).
With only one keeper you can't do my favorite strategy which is "build for next year" and deal all of the guys who are not keepers for 2009 for young and/or undervalued guys that would be keepers for next year.
If you got a guy like Rolen on the waiver wire you have a pretty deep talent pool. He's a good pickup as I think he'll do well over the rest of the year. You needed to draft the Chipper Jones' and Nate McLouth's of the world and ride their hot starts 'til about now and deal them for the slow starters.
What is your head-to-head record? Do you have playoffs? What sort of finish do you need to get up there? Any time you even think of dealing you have to make it LOOK like the other guy's getting exactly what he needs (even if he's not) and like he's not giving up a lot to get it. If you think you can pull a heist like that I'd say go for it. Also always look at whomever is #10 in your league as they may have already called it quits for 2008 :-)
Posted by dboisver | May 13, 2008 11:05 AM
Posted on May 13, 2008 11:05
You are already waving the white flag and it is only May? I guess my spanking of your team two weeks ago has put you over the edge. Actually your team hasn't been the same since you lost the championship to me two years ago. I call it the curse of T3. HAHAHA
Since you are resorting for help, my suggestion is that you prepare your fantasy team for the consolation bracket. Avoid this high expectation that you place on your underachieving team. Use your experience from last year's consolation bracket performance to better prepare yourself for the inevitable.
Posted by T3 | May 13, 2008 1:07 PM
Posted on May 13, 2008 13:07
It's not as dire as I made it out to be, DB. 6 teams make the playoffs. I should be able to sneak in, provided the big boys wake up (nice to see Braun belt 4 in 2-games).
The league is very deep and good. The other league I'm in, I'm in second place with very much the same team. I've won that league 2-years in a row, though I haven't won the one I'm talking about in 5-years (3-consecutive runner up finishes in ridiculously close finishes, but no victory cigar). So the league is very good...believe me, I'm not big fan of Rolen...no surprise he was available in this league (AL & NL rosters, remember)
Posted by Teddy P. | May 13, 2008 1:19 PM
Posted on May 13, 2008 13:19
If you need some power, a good idea would be Mike Jacobs, the first basemen for the Marlins. He's pretty high up there in homeruns, and many people don't know about him. He's had a few issues with injuries, but he's worth a look.
Posted by Soxdude | May 13, 2008 3:07 PM
Posted on May 13, 2008 15:07
Hey when things are going bad for me in any aspect of life, i always remember there is an option that takes care of all problems no matter what they may be.....SUICIDE!!!
Posted by donny | May 13, 2008 4:20 PM
Posted on May 13, 2008 16:20