Who needs to battle crowds at the shopping malls or retail centers? You really want a quality gift? How about giving that special someone a license to print money!

OK, so maybe The Victim isn’t as automatic as he was last year, but our peerless pigskin prognosticator is still on the plus side for 2007. So forget that overpriced jewelry. Pass on the perfume. Don’t risk a stabbing for that video game system that’ll be obsolete next year anyway. Instead, buy a brand new wallet, follow The Victim’s instructions and watch that fine piece of foldable leather fill up faster than Rosie O’Donnell’s Thanksgiving dinner plate.

This week’s gifts…I mean, picks (Monday Night’s game can only be heard on SportsTalk Live):

Minnesota (+7) over NY Giants
Jacksonville (-8) over Buffalo
Baltimore (+9) over San Diego
Philadelphia (+24) over New England

Turkey Day record: 2-1
Season record: 29-27-1
Monday Night record: 8-3-1