Posted by Teddy Panos, Sun Staff
Perfection.
In the real world, it’s hard to define. Like beauty, it’s in the eyes of the beholder. Bo Derek may have been a “10” in the movies, but the proliferation of plastic surgery in Hollywood has the same effect as beer-goggles in a nightclub; that 2 at 10:00 can easily become a 10 at 2:00. (Besides, I’ll take Michelle Phifer in a Catwoman costume over Bo Derek any day of the week. Now that’s Purr-fect!)
In the professional sports world, perfection is much easier to define, though much more difficult to find. Nadia Comaneci scored the first ever “10” in Olympic gymnastics, but was she really perfect? How do we know for sure if one of her toes didn’t bend during a landing? Nope, sorry to all you gymnasts and figure skaters watchers! Subjective events decided by often-biased judges are more art than sport.
Rocky Marciano is one of the few examples of perfection from an individual competitor, retiring from the ring wars a perfect 49-0. Now you might wonder why I don’t lump boxing with figure skating, since The Brockton Blockbuster only recorded 46 of his victories by knockout, meaning a judge’s scorecard was responsible for three of those conquests. When Scott Hamilton stays upright through a routine while someone is trying to punch him in the face, we can talk.
There’s a book about Roger Federer called The Quest for Perfection, but the current king of men’s tennis still drops a match or two per year. Ditto for the ruler of the other rich man’s sport, Tiger Woods, who despite his links dominance can’t even come close to capturing half the tournaments he enters, never mind all of them.
Forget professional baseball, basketball and hockey. Multiple games per week over a 6-8 month period mean we’ll never see a perfect team in any of those endeavors. The ’86 Celtics, with Larry Bird and Bill Walton trying to outdo each other with back door passes were about as close as you could get, though that was only in an aesthetic sense.
Walton was part of a UCLA dynasty that posted a few zero loss seasons along the way, but that was before scholarships were slashed and the college basketball talent more evenly distributed. Bobby Knight’s ’76 Hoosiers were the last squad to achieve perfection, while Bird’s ’79 Sycamores and Jerry Tarkanian’s ’91 UNLV Running Rebels took unblemished records into the Final Four before chalking one up in the loss column.
College football regularly produces undefeated teams. Too bad uneven scheduling and the lack of a true playoff system render those accomplishments meaningless. Take “I’M a Pushover State” off the schedule and let’s see how many perfect seasons those football factories end up with.
The Holy Grail of perfect seasons remains the ’72 Miami Dolphins. 14-regular season wins. Three more in the playoffs. 17-0. NFL teams have been chasing that mark ever since, a goal made even more difficult by the expansion to a 16-game regular season. Not that 17-0 is anything to scoff at, but in this day and age of parity and harder schedules for elite teams than also-rans, 19-0 would make the long road taken by Don Shula's fish seem like a cake walk.
Every so often, a team makes a run at it, only to stumble along the way. The 2005 Indianapolis Colts started off 13-0 before losing to San Diego and then getting bumped by Pittsburgh in the playoffs. At least Chicago’s 1985 squad regrouped to win the Super Bowl after Dan Marino’s ‘Fins defended the honor of their predecessors by mauling the 12-0 Bears. That unlucky Week 13 matchup was the most anticipated regular season contest until two days ago.
Which brings us to this year’s New England Patriots and their quest for perfection. What began as a running gag is an all-too real possibility now that the Colts have been vanquished. Aesthetically, the Patriots are as close to a perfect football team as you’ll see. Yeah, I’m a sports geek, but I’ll put a Tom Brady spiral to a leaping Randy Moss up against any work of art hanging in the Louvre. Bet Da Vinci never had to complete his paint brush passes with 60,000 zealots and piped in crowd noise blaring down on him!
After Sunday’s game, Indy coach Tony Dungy said the Patriots “force you into playing perfect.” Unfortunately for Dungy, only one NFL team is up to that challenge. It just so happens the Colts played against that team Sunday.
Perfection. That’s exactly where the 2007 New England Patriots are headed. And no, I don’t have my beer goggles on.