Posted by Teddy Panos, Sun Staff
(Note: Regular SunBlog readers will recognize parts of this posting from a previous entry introducing The Victim. Bear with me while I cater to those technologically challenged newspaper readers who only follow the print articles)
In the movie A Bronx Tale, Robert DeNiro plays a hard-working father trying to raise his son the proper way in a neighborhood where the role model is a local gangster. However, for those of us who enjoy testing our knowledge of the NFL, the character we most closely associate with is Eddie Mush.
Be it cards, dice or horse racing, Eddie Mush couldn’t pick his nose, never mind a winner. My favorite scene has the Wiseguys at the track, rooting on their favorite thoroughbred as he gallops down the homestretch with a huge lead. Just then, Eddie Mush appears, screaming encouragement for the very same pony. The Wiseguys leave in disgust, tearing up their tickets before the race is even over. Naturally, Eddie Mush is left staring in astonishment as the horse finishes out of the money.
Why am I telling you about this otherwise forgettable scene? Well, ever year, millions of football fans waste their hard-earned dollars seeking winning gambling advice from so-called experts who lie about their success rates. What people fail to realize is that the chances of picking football games correctly is like the chances of proposing to J-Lo and getting her to walk down the aisle…a 50-50 proposition at best. Unless, of course, you have your very own Eddie Mush….a person so incapable of picking winners, he can make you Marc Anthony instead of Ben Affleck.
Enter “The Victim.”
For years, I’d made a living placing “for entertainment purposes only” wagers against this pathetic pigskin prognosticator. You know how at key moments of games they pop up graphics saying something to the effect of; “Sammy Surefoot” hasn’t missed a field goal of less than 40-yards in 1,286 consecutive attempts? Well, if The Victim had wagered on Sammy Surefoot’s squad, you can bet that kick would be wider than John Daly’s Dockers. It was like stealing candy from a baby.
So as a service to loyal SunBlog readers, I began posting The Victim’s picks every week, advising them to go the opposite way and watch their bankroll grow. And how did this lovable loser repay me for the newfound fame? By going an unbelievable 59-41 against the spread, that’s how. Talk about an ingrate!
Seriously, 18-games above the breakeven point. Documented, right there on the pages of TheSunBlog on a weekly basis. It was like living in some sort of parallel universe, where black was white, up was down, and Kevin Federline was a more competent parent than Britney Spears.
Well, The Victim’s Picks return this year, but with a twist. We’ll still post the selections at TheSunBlog. However, if you want the all-important Monday Night “bail out” game, you’ll have to dial into our weekly SportsTalk Live show to get it. Of course, we’ll have to disguise the voice to keep The Victim’s identity secret (otherwise, they’d have to kill me), but you’ll get the pick directly from the horse’s mouth by dialing in to (978)364-8255 every Monday night between 7-8pm.
While waiting for The Victim’s pick, you’ll get to participate or listen in on our typically action packed hour of SportsTalk, with guests chiming in on newsworthy topics of the week. Plus, there’s another added bonus this fall; the debut of Monday Night Lights, a segment previewing our high school game of the week, where coaches and players from the participating schools call-in with their thoughts on the big matchup.
So if this sounds like another shameless plug, that’s because it is. Live guests, livelier conversation, Monday Night Lights and free football picks. You’ll be richer for the experience.
Provided of course, you can guess which Victim shows up this year; the lovable loser of days gone by or gridiron god of 2006.