I don’t do well with deadlines. In school I lived by the motto; never do today what you can put off till tomorrow.

Baseball’s trading deadline is different, though. Can’t get enough of it. For someone who lives and breathes sports, there isn’t a more exciting time than those final moments when teams swap players like teens swap text messages.

So as 4pm Monday approached, the good and bad of deadlines stared me smack dab in the face. I had to finish this column for the paper, while at the same time trying to keep track of every trade and false rumor out there…dueling deadlines, if you will.

Thankfully, Al Gore invented the internet. Well, someone did. I’m not sure who, but he or she made my job easier.

As I write this, my television is blaring ESPN. There are roughly 15-windows open on my computer. There’s an earpiece plugged into the back of it streaming WEEI into my right ear. The left ear also features an earpiece, this one allowing me to speak on the phone while having both hands free to type. I have officially brought the terms computer and technology geek to new lows.

And you know what? I couldn’t possibly be any happier. If heaven is part of my afterlife, this is what I envision.

Here’s an hour-by-hour look at what’s going on:

10:10am: Dale Arnold and Rob Bradford (where have I heard that name before?) are on the radio discussing a possible deal bringing Andruw Jones to the Red Sox for Coco Crisp, Craig Hansen and Jon Lester. Lester is the reason this won’t happen, but it’s the second time since last Tuesday our favorite “cereal killer‿ has been mentioned in a rumor. Maybe Theo Epstein reads the Lowell Sun or TheSunBlog.

11:13am: My head is already spinning from baseball overload, so I venture out to the Patriots websites for a training camp check up. Tom Brady isn’t practicing for a second consecutive day. It’s probably nothing, but I don’t think I can deal with this right now.

12:29pm: After scanning all my favorite places, I’ve counted the Red Sox being involved in discussions for about two dozen different players. Wonder how many minutes Theo has on his cell phone?

1:32pm: My cousin Yianni calls from work for the first of what I’m sure will be 100-times, trying to find out if the Sox have made any moves. Poor guy has no television, radio or internet access. I tell him not to hold his breath waiting for any big acquisitions. I also advise him to get another job.

2:21pm: Sean McAdam just tells his radio audience that Roger Clemens won’t leave Houston, but that his heart is here in Boston. That’s a surprise. I always believed his heart was in his wallet.

3:15pm: The consensus now has Theo passing on all the big names and focused on acquiring Pirates pitcher Kip Wells. I wish him no ill, but he’d be better off acquiring Lyme disease.

4:00pm: The trading deadline is here. So is the deadline for this article. Whose performance was more disappointing…mine or the Red Sox?

At least here, there are no deadlines!