Upon many requests for a list of guys to avoid, here are my Top 10:

1. The Double-Dipper
At any gathering there are unwritten rules about taking a scoop from a shared bowl of guacamole. Same goes in the dating pool. When a man delves into the same circle of girls, it is like double-dipping into the French onion dip. They are bound to pick up something from the last one who had their hands in there and also leave a little behind. Dating a guy who hooked up with one or more of your friends, breeds jealousy, resentment and scorn. And there is no cream to cure that.

2. The Tom Brady
No matter what the defense is, leaving a longtime girlfriend who is carrying your child, for someone else is a personal foul. There are no challenges or replays to this penalty. On this one, it is time to hate the player and not the game.

3. The Free Spirit
Or as my father puts it — a bum. There is nothing wrong with being adventuresome if the man’s choice of venture is followed by capitalism. Living off the land is code for the three Cs: no car, no career and no cares. Money isn’t everything, but when it buys his love for you then there is nothing free about him.

4. The Bitterati
This is the man who is “bitter” toward the glitterati. No matter who they are pols, movie stars, athletes, even reality TV rejects, he cannot get over how he has to work for “the man” and they get everything handed to them. Come to think of it, anyone who refers to “the man” is not one.

5. The MySpace John
There are a lot of things that can go wrong with a man over 25, who is not a musician, promoter or artist that maintains a MySpace profile. One can tell if he is dateable by his top friends. If the first 16 are littered with Glamourtini, Ginger, Crystal, Cinnamon, Bunny, Client 9, or any other generic pole-climber’s name, it is time to hit delete on this guy.

6. The Mama’s Boy
Eeeeek! It is reassuring if a man has a great relationship with his mother and sisters. These men tend to be respectful toward women in general. We’re not talking about the normal call mom up on Sunday afternoon to chat boyfriend. We are talking about the one whose “mommy” stocks his fridge every week with Tupperware filled with homemade meals, complete with the directions and expiration dates taped to the outside. The “boy” whose mother washes, dries and folds his laundry for him is who we’re talking about. Eventually you will become a lesser version of his mother and never live up to his expectations.

7. Mr. Perfect
If he is too good to be true, than he is probably married, in the closet, a serial killer or a deadbeat dad. Move on.

8. The Texter
He flirts with you through text messages all day. Asks you to meet him “4 drnks @ 7.” His Blackberry never leaves the palm of his hand, yet he never picks up when you call. If his only form of communication with you is through poor English, it’s time to press end on this guy.

9. The Tainted Lover
If his last gal pal left him for someone else, specifically another woman, this leads to insecurities and jealousy issues. There can be times when he is envious of your best girlfriends. But the main concern is why would his ex switch teams midseason?

10. The Sticky Suitor
If he is more clingy than a cheap polyester blend sweater, it’s time to buy this guy a one-way ticket out of your life. Clingons belong on another planet, not in your world.

Have you meet any of these men? Are you sleeping next to one? Send your pleas for help to lowellita@lowellsun.com and I’ll see what I can do.