And it is not Lindsay, Paris, Britney, Mary-Kate or Pete!

Actress Eva Mendes is at Cirque Lodge in Utah and has been there for several weeks. The Lodge is where Lindsay Lohan got sober last year.

Her rep told TMZ, "Eva has been working hard for the past year and made a positive decision to take some much-needed time off to proactively attend to some personal issues that, while not critical, she felt deserved some outside professional support. Out of respect for Eva's privacy, we do not wish to discuss further details."

Now that the hang-over and depression has passed since Sunday's Pats loss, we're back to business here at The Frosting.

We have made a decision here to blame Tom Brady's gal-pal, Gisele, for all the world's problems including Britney Spears melt-down.

Now that Brit has been hospitalized for about a week, the court made some rulings yesterday. Her father, Jamie, will remain the co-conservator of Britney's estate through Feb. 14, but he does not have the authority to fire Trope and Trope, Brit's divorce lawyers. Also, Brit's shady "manager" is to have no contact with the falling pop star through e-mails, phone contact or third parties.

There will be a hearing soon to determine how mentally competent Britney is.

It's all your fault — you Glamazon!

New England Patriots defensive back Willie Andrews lost one bowl but he picked up another. Andrews was busted this morning in Lowell on charges of marijuana possession and driving an unregistered motor vehicle. He was arraigned this afternoon in Lowell District Court.

Altogether now, "I was going to win the superbowl, but then I got high. Woo-hoo!"

It looked like the whole team was smoking dope on Sunday.

Like Britney Spears, Delta Burke has checked herself into a psychiatric hospital last week for depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder and hoarding.

The 51-year-old former "Designing Woman" has told TMZ that being a pack rat has ruined her life.

We wonder who else Britney will inspire to check themselves into the mental ward? Maybe Gary Busey...

Ah, Winterfest. The city of Lowell’s knock-off of Germany’s Oktoberfest.

Hold the phone Mr. City Manager. I am not one to bash anything that has to do with consuming mass amounts of beer in public. We all need a little happiness here in New England after the incident that happened this past Sunday. I won’t mention any names ... Tom, Randy and Tedy. It’s going to take more than a six-pack to cure this girl’s depression.

Winterfest could just be the remedy that I am looking for. What better way to spend a weekend than watching semi-plastered people pull a human dog sled?

You want a pot hole filled on Chelmsford Street, the Rourke Bridge replaced, the homeless people left alone or your tax rate to go down? Then act like a paparazzi when and if Britney Spears takes a ride in a hearse.

Cannon PowerShot G9 Digital Camera: $499.
Coach leather camera case: $135.
Four draft beers plus tip at Club Celsius: $30
One hour photo prints: $12.
Getting snapshots of city councilors flashing onlookers: Priceless.
There are some things money and living in Belvidere can’t buy. For everyone else, including the homeless, there’s Tewksbury.

I am sure everyone expected that I kept with tradition and told that blasé bear, Lowla, to hightail it back to the cave from whence she came. Everyone loves a good cat fight. For this year’s frozen festivities I am putting the claws away.

I’m not sure if it has something to do with this Hillary Clinton resurgence in women working together, but I have to say the polar princess is growing on me. As a big fan of scarves, sunglasses and not shaving my legs during the winter, I think the furry female and I could share a bear hug someday soon.

It is really not Lowellita-like to be cruel to animals and I may need Lowla to have my back when the suits at City Hall lay their eyes on this.

Hey, it’s not my fault I can’t write a winning column praising the Mill City every time. Can’t we just blame it all on Gisele?

Send your bribe-worthy photos to lowellita@lowellsun.com.

Despite her parents efforts, Britney Spears left UCLA Medical Center yesterday over the recommendation of her treating psychiatrist.

Brit's father and mother, Jamie and Lynne Spears, released a joint statement given through their attorney, saying they were “extremely disappointed” to learn their daughter had been discharged.

“We are deeply concerned about our daughter’s safety and vulnerability and we believe her life is presently at risk,” the statement said. “We ask only that the court’s orders be enforced so that a tragedy may be averted.”

Brit left yesterday and after visiting with her lawyer is allegedly still holed up in the Beverly Hills Hotel with Adnan Ghalib, her paparazzo boytoy.

Brit's father, who has been named conservator of her, cut off all her credit cards so no food or services could be sent to her hotel room. He is said to be in a Los Angeles court this morning.

We learned this morning that Lauren Conrad's, or better known as LC from MTV's "The Hill's", new clothing line will be sold exclusively at First Date Boutique in Andover.

Owner Keri Barrett was anticipating a shipment today of The Lauren
Conrad Collection.

The flirty boutique that opened in September has the potential to become the next Jasmine Sola without the controversy. It has the all the East Coast class mixed with the West Coast flare.

Check them out online at shopfirstdate.com.

Or head out to 28 Chestnut St., Andover.

An assignment last Friday morning took me to a place where many Lowellians never venture to. I am not talking about the lower Highlands, I am talking about Andover.

After a quick jaunt up 495 North and only a few exits past Tewks-town, I pulled Putt-Putt off onto Route 28. I sailed to what I would call its downtown, (does Andover have a downtown?), and was amazed by the sights. Here it was 9 AM on a dreary Friday morning in February. The sky was gray, the temp was a balmy 32 degrees and snow clouds were spitting on my Marc Jacobs cashmere trench. Miserable...but on my left was people jockey for sreet side parking spots in front of Starbucks, on my right more than a dozen people carrying colorful shopping bags as they sprinted from store to store.

Looking down the side streets of this quaint little shopping mecca was a similar sight. Parking lots were filling up with Volvos, Audis and my fabulous Carolla took one of the last spots on Chestnut Street. I was there for a fashion shoot at First Date for the Valentine's Day spread in today's Lowell Sun.

Why was I so enarmoured with the Big A? Because this could be Downtown Lowell.

The coffee shops were littered with students from Merrimack College sipping non-fat lattes while reading the New York Times on their Mac Books. Shoppers darted in and out of unique bodegas that sell everything from beads to shoes to chocolate.

Here in DTL we have the potential. There is already the Mambo Grill, Brew'd Awakening, The Coffee Mill and many others finding a niche. Also, Centro and The Blue Taleh are making a splash. What is wrong with the picture here? They are all restaurants. Where is the retail?

I have to say that an afternoon at the big commercial heaven called the mall always ends with a trip to the food court or a martini and piece of cheesecake at some ordinary chain. We have the built in audience of foodies already here, why not a gourmet goodie hawker with Euro spices on Middle Street? UMass Lowell has one of the best sound recording programs in the country, why not a hip clatch that sells political tees and green products, where local bands can sell their EPs?

This sounds granduer but seeing is believing. DTL has the buil-in audience, it now has to find something to captivate them.

Where would you want to shop in DTL?

The suburb nestled at the end of Route 3 and parallel to the dreaded 128 is home to something more than overpriced townhouses, a Whole Foods and an air force base. A big loser, Jay Kruger, claims Bedford as his home address.

Kruger, 31, and his brother, Mark of Dartmouth, are contestants on the wildly popular NBC reality show "The Biggest Loser." The super-sized siblings were found by casting agents while walking down Yawkey Way.

Since the show started, Jay, has lost 45 pounds from his 300 pound frame. That's a lot of Fenway Franks!

Are there any other reality TV stars in our midst? I hear MTV's "Made" was filming at Chelmsford High about a month ago. Anyone have the 411?

Romance is dead. Cupid shot his last arrow and it pierced Prince Charming’s heart, striking him
dead.

What did you expect, a fluffy column about love at first sight? Lowellita is not for the faint of heart, my parents, or those that believe in soul mates. Happily ever after is a Disney-created fantasy and Valentine’s Day is more tacky than a contestant on VH1’s Rock of Love.

To prove my amoré assumption I did not have to look further than this very newspaper. On Monday, the question of the day was: “What will you be getting your sweetheart for Valentine’s Day?” A whopping 51 percent answered nothing. That’s more than Ron Paul garnered in votes during the primary.

Nothing. No card, no candy, no flowers, no cheesy stuffed-bear with a heart sewn to its paws. Somewhere between grammar school, when we gingerly cut out cardboard hearts for our crush, and now our love for Valentine’s Day fizzled.

Some blame Hallmark, the company that shoves the most commercial of holidays down our throats as we peruse the aisles. We go for lip balm and end up buying Rolaids. Others point their naked ring finger at flower shops that charge $95 for a dozen roses. That’s $7.90 per bud, more than an imported beer at Centro.

I plead guilty myself for contributing to the extinction of romantic men. In a post-Sex and the City fantasy, women in their 20s and early 30s have become cynical, jaded and bitter towards any chivalrous act. We call it sarcastic, independent and empowered — the modern girl’s spin.
What am I saying? Sometimes you just can’t blame the guy.

A perfect example is what has become known within my clique as the “rhyme without reason.” A few weeks back over platters of sashimi, one of my more giddy gal-pals pulled out a poem her live-in boyfriend wrote. The crisp piece of stationery was placed on her pillow before he left for work. How sweet.

She was more flustered than the time we met Jared Leto after the 30 Seconds to Mars show at the Tsongas Arena. She started to tell us the poem was a sign that the ring was on its way. She got up that morning registered on The Knot, picked out her wedding colors, her sons’ names and a China pattern.

Creamsicle, Aiden and Jackson, and Mosaico D’Italia Cipresso by Lenox were now off-limits to myself and my man-eating friend across the plate of raw tuna. When future bridezilla fluttered off to the bathroom, we erupted into presumptions that come from too many afternoons watching General Hospital in college.

I knew he was a friend of Bill W. And I don’t mean that he is on the wagon,” said my friend. “What straight man has monogrammed stationery? Come on! And I am not wearing creamsicle.”

The stationery was questionable, however I felt the poem was incriminating. Her significant other must have cheated, was thinking about cheating or got someone pregnant. Later, I scoured the poet’s MySpace, checking the profiles of every female in his “friends” — nothing. Then I noticed his profile song was Cher’s “Believe.” Oh boy.

I gave Cinderella a call to let her know that Prince Charming may be a princess. When she didn’t believe me, I pulled out the big guns and told her about Cher. She informed me that tune was playing on her car radio the first time they kissed.

I rolled my eyes, hung up the phone and went to bed — alone.

Send roses and Valentine’s to lowellita@lowellsun.com.

Irish eyes are smiling in Lowell...and there are a lot of them. The Dropkick Murphys have added a second show on Saturday March 15 at the Lowell Memorial Auditorium. Tickets go on sale tomorrow moring at noon, a nice late ticket time for those who enjoy a few pints tonight.

The doors will open at 7:30 and show time is 8 p.m. The Muphys will play a sold-out show at the Tsongas Arena earlier that same day at 2 p.m. Should be quite an intersting Saturday at the Dub, OC and Majors.

The New York Daily News is reporting that Lindsay Lohan was drinking vodka and champagne at an LA club this past week. LiLo has been laying low since she left rehab a few months back.

How long do you think before LiLo is back to her old self? Our bet is car crash in April. Arrest the same month and back to rehab in May. Who wants to put some money up against that prediction?

Old habits never die.

Sorry Heff, New York Magazine got Lindsay Lohan to take off her clothes before you could. The always sensational attention grabbing star posed for photographer Bert Stern in a series of pictures mimicing Marilyn Monroe's "The Last Sitting" from 1962.

“I didn’t have to put much thought into it. I mean, Bert Stern? Doing a Marilyn shoot? When is that ever going to come up? It’s really an honor,” LiLo told the mag.

When asked whether or not she is heading down the same path of Monroe, who was found dead about a month after the shoot, she responded:

“I don’t know. I’m not them. But I sure as hell wouldn’t let it happen to me.”

Whatever this photo shoot is foreshadowing, LiLo looks amazing in all the pictures. Check them out at www.nymag.com. Then tell us what you think...

Last Friday night, rock’s scrappiest heavy weights kicked off their national tour for a sold of crowd at the Tsongas Arena in Lowell. About 7,000 people packed the venue to pump their fists to the guitar crunching sounds of Breaking Benjamin, Seether and Three Days Grace.

A dozen fortunate fans, got to take in an intimate performance before the show in the Club Room at the arena. Members of Three Days Grace along with Seether’s front man, Shaun Morgan, and drummer, John Humphrey, played an acoustic set of four songs as part of a contest rock radio station WAAF hosted.

“It was great,” said Tsongas Arena general manager, Craig Gates. “To kick off their tour to a sold out crowd and get about $10 a head for merch, they were thrilled.”

Gates spotted the band’s tour busses parked near the DoubleTree Hotel in Lowell a couple days before the show. No word yet if they frequented any of downtown’s many watering holes.

The arena announced yesterday that Jimmy Eat World and Paramor will play there April 30. Tickets are $30 and go on sale this Saturday, Feb. 23 at 10 a.m.

One of Britney Spears’ legal battles came to a screeching halt yesterday when the judge deemed her incompetent to resolve the matter.

Superior Court Judge T.K. Herman continued the fallen pop princess’s driving-without-a-license case until March 20. Unfitney was charged with the misdemeanor after she hit a parked car in
August and left without leaving a note on the windshield. Of course, the hordes of paparazzi caught Brit breaking the law all on film. The original charge was a hit-and-run, but that was later dropped.

Lawyer J. Michael Flanagan said Spears’ conservatorship attorneys “do not think she is qualified or capable of entering into a binding agreement” at this time. They also are skeptical that she is capable of giving a deposition or signed declaration, Flanagan said.

Earlier this month, a judge placed Spears under the conservatorship of her father and an attorney after more than a year of increasingly bizarre behavior including a buzz cut, pink wig, hospitalization and adopting a foreign accent.

I am old.

When I started to abuse a keyboard with my wild escapades it was during my junior year of college. After a few too many spills on the cobblestones, a drama-filled breakup, a more drama-filled makeup and discovering that Maybelline Great Lash is the only mascara that lasts until dawn, I have graduated to adulthood. This means I have matured, become responsible and have more than just condiments, olives and alcohol on the shelves of my fridge. My parents are happy, I am more productive, and since I keep regular hours my neighbors don’t think I am a common nightwalker anymore.

But my best friend told me straight up — “You are old.”

My cell rang last Saturday night, technically Sunday morning, at prime drunk dial time. Ten minutes of conversation peppered with curses and a few pass-offs to random people, she began to guilt trip me into driving to Boston an hour before last call. I explained that I was already quite warm in my flannels, sipping a glass of Malbec while living vicariously through the Ari, Turtle, Vince, E and Drama on Entourage to fly down 93. That is when she dropped the Big O.
Old. I cringed, put down my wine, gulped some water and ran downstairs to apply more eye-firming cream.

In reality I am closer to 30 than 21, I eat dinner before 9 p.m. even on weekends and when I walk into the Mac Store I could very well be mistaken for a parent. Two years ago, trying to make last call was like a Survivor challenge; now I could not tell you the last time the lights were turned up in the bar to reveal I was not talking to Johnny Depp’s twin brother, more like Steve Buschemi’s stand-in. These are the times I don’t lose any sleep over, that is now that I get a full eight hours of sleep. I also don’t miss dry mouth, headaches, nausea or an almost debilitating craving for multiple double-cheeseburgers in the morning.

Is the Big O such a bad thing?

I haven’t quite figured it out yet. I do stutter whenever anyone asks me my age. If there is no one in audible range that knows me well, I knock off a year, sometimes two. On occasion a cheesy dance beat will cause butterflies in my stomach and for a few fleeting seconds I get an itch to go dancing. Then I recall when a stiletto punctured my toe the last time I was out clubbing. It took more than a year to heal, and I have a battle wound to prove it.

I do consider myself some kind of rebellious relic that knows enough to retire before I become that barfly my friends and I used to rag on. I may be far from calling it a night at 10 p.m. on a Saturday, but on Fridays after working all week sometimes I can’t even make it through Leno’s monologue. Not sure if that is from exhaustion or boredom. Thirsty Thursdays — what’s that?

My best buddy may think that I am old and call me out on it, but at least I remembered the next day that she did. Last weekend I may have acted antiquated, but all the more nights I spend with my eye cream I won’t look it.

It may be getting old, but e-mail lowellita@lowellsun.com.

Local spotlight
Yes that was WBZ’s culture queen Joyce Kulhawik at the Revolving Museum Wednesday afternoon. The Channel 4 arts reporter was in town taping a segment on ways to entertain kids during school vacation week. The Shattuck Street museum’s exhibit “Toys and Games: More Than Amusement,” was a buzz with tikes making origami birds.
Another local luminary, Wendy Lepore, made prime time Wednesday. Her Westford shop, the Finer Consigner, was featured on Chronicle as part of a piece on ways to stay fabulously frugal.

Knock-out night
All the action was outside the ring Wednesday evening during the championship finals of the New England Golden Gloves at the Lowell Memorial Auditorium. Boxing legend Micky Ward rubbed elbows with Craig Gates general manager of the Tsongas Arena, State representative Kevin Murphy, former state senator Phil Shea, and Cobblestones owner Scott Plath.
Ward began his boxing career in the Lowell tournament and eventually won the “fight of the century” against Aturro Gatti. His rise from the streets of the Mill City to an Atlantic City ring will be captured on the big screen in “The Fighter.” Boston boy, Mark Wahlberg will play Ward and Brad Pitt is rumored to portray his brother Dicky Eklund. Shooting could begin this fall and bring the acclaimed actors to Lowell.

East coast glamour
In other Hollywood news, Newbury Street in Boston may just become the new Sunset Strip. Matthew McConaughey and Jennifer Garner are in town to shoot the romantic comedy “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.” The cast includes Lacey Chabert, Emma Stone, Christa Allen, and Breckin Meyer.
The celeb radar will be off the charts in a couple of weeks when director Martin Scorsese starts production in Boston on his new film “Ashecliffe” an adaptation of Dennis Lehane’s novel “Shutter Island.” Leonardo DiCaprio, Michelle Williams, Ben Kingsley, Mark Ruffalo, and Patricia Clarkson all have roles in the movie.
Get your cameras ready and watch out for those pesky paparazzi.

Congrats to new mom Jennifer Lopez and her husband Marc Anthony!

The singer/actress gave birth to twins this morning shortly after midnight. The 5-pound, 7-ounce girl arrived first, followed by her 6-pound brother minutes later.

J Lo and Anthony married in 2004. The twins are her first children, and his third and fourth.

It’s a battle of the sexes on Boston’s morning television. News babe Bianca de la Garza has been named the new early morning co-anchor on WCVB-TV. This will put her head to head against her husband, David Wade, who delivers the morning’s headlines at WBZ.

Bianca told a certain Boston tab that her hubby is a “big boy” and she is happy they will have time off together to spend with their daughter.

No word if the Tewksbury townies will commute together or take separate cars.

There was an uninvited guest, who crashed Ashton Kutcher’s 30th birthday party and it was not Bruce Willis.

A bartender at Socialista in New York, where Kutcher had his bash on Feb. 7 has tested positive for hepatitis A. And this is not an episode of Punk’D. Doctors and the New York Board of Health are urging guests to get a hep A shot ASAP.

Other than Kutcher’s cougar wife, Demi Moore, guests included Madonna, Kate Hudson, Lucy Liu, Liv Tyler, Gwyneth Paltrow, Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart, Salma Hayek, Lake Bell, Molly Sims, Amy Smart, Ivanka Trump, Parker Posey, Ali Larter, stylist Rachel Zoe, and designer Roberto Cavalli.

Either Angelina has been indulging on the carbs or she is pregnant!

Angie and Brad Pitt have been mum on whether or not she is with child. If this picture isn't an announcement that there is another Brangelina on the way...than I don't now what is. The couple were spotted at the Independent Spirit Awards, but did not attend the Oscars last night.

Maybe Ange had morning sickness.

Rumor in the Mill City is that with Angelina due this summer, production on the Micky Ward bio-pic "The Fighter" will be postponed (again). Pitt is slated to play Ward's brother Dicky Eklunfd. Filming is set to begin this fall in Lowell.

Lowell is ready for its 15 minutes

There is more Hollywood buzz in Lowell and this time it has nothing to do with that Irish boxer and his brother.

Filming for “This Side of Truth” is set to begin in the spring here in the Mill City. The movie is directed by Ricky Gervais and Matthew Robinson, with a cast that includes Jennifer Gardner, Jonah Hill, Rob Lowe and Louis C.K. according to IMDB.com. The industry web site also says it’s a Lynda Obst Production, who produced “How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days” that starred Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey and will be distributed by Warner Bros. productions. The movie is a comedy set in a world where no one has ever told a lie — doesn’t sound like Washington or Hollywood.

Deborah Belanger, the executive director of Greater Merrimack Valley Convention and Visitors Bureau says that scouts for the movie contacted the organization about six weeks ago. The CVB has been providing information on possible site locations for various scenes in the comedy. Production is likely to begin in April. According to Belanger, the producers liked Lowell because it is a small, easily contained town.

“Obviously this will give Lowell an economic boost and incredible publicity. We are very excited to help with this movie,” Belanger said in an e-mail to The Sun.

If has-been rapper Bobby Brown wants to do a few lines of cocaine — that’s his prerogative. And the courts seem to agree.

Whitney Houston’s ex-hubby Brown will not face criminal charges after police said they found a small amount of cocaine in his possession. A Brockton District Court clerk magistrate found no probable cause to issue a criminal complaint, but recommended that Brown volunteer to mentor young people.

Brown agreed to a year’s community service and his attorney said if no other issues arise over the next year, the matter will be struck from the docket.

The rapper’s trouble all started when police responding to a disturbance at a Brockton hotel on Dec. 1. They said they found the 39-year-old Brown sitting in an SUV in the parking lot, with cocaine in his possession.

The Boston native is the former husband of singer Whitney Houston and stars in the CMT Network show “Gone Country.”

Back to black and white stripes

Brown is not the only musician having a few scrapes with the law. Amy Winehouse’s lawyer asked a district court to postpone a hearing for the British singer-songwriter, who is accused of drug possession.

The beehived trainwreck and her husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, were arrested in the western city of Bergen last October. They were charged with of possessing 1/4 ounce of marijuana and released the next morning after paying fines of $715 each.

The tattooed songstress later appealed the fine, claiming Norwegian police made mistakes in the case. A court hearing is scheduled tomorrow.

Winehouse, 24, won five Grammy Awards earlier this month, including best record, best song and best new artist.

Mischa, Mischa, Mischa!

She is not a musician, but she is still in trouble. Actress Mischa Barton, who on “The O.C.” played a wealthy teenager in idyllic Orange County, got a dose of reality Tuesday when she was charged with four misdemeanors related to a drinking and driving arrest last year.

The former star of “The O.C.” was charged with driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs, driving while having a 0.08 percent or higher blood alcohol level, driving without a valid license and possession of 28.5 grams or less of marijuana, according to court papers.

In a statement, Barton attorney Anthony V. Salerno said he was pleased his client was only charged with misdemeanors.

“The D.A.’s office is to be commended for treating this case the same as it would any other matter; Ms. Barton has received no special treatment,” Salerno said.
Barton was arrested Dec. 27 in West Hollywood after sheriff’s deputies saw her car straddling two lanes of traffic and failing to signal for a turn. She is scheduled to be arraigned on today in Beverly Hills Superior Court.

Barton played Marissa Cooper on “The O.C.” from 2003 to 2006, who dabbled in drugs and alcohol and eventually died in a car crash. In May, Barton was hospitalized for two hours after an antibiotic she was taking interacted badly with alcohol.

Nothing. That is what comes to mind when I sat down this week to write my column. I have started this week’s drek about a dozen different ways and have not gotten down more than two sentences. Some of the time I can’t even get to the period at the end before hitting delete.

I was going to write about my newly single friend. Lots of tales there. As I began I was not confident, that the piece would make it past the editing stage. I also was not sure that she would be my friend anymore come Friday morning.

I hit delete.

Another half an hour in the blogosphere and still no ideas were jumping out at me. One member of the bloggerati compared a trip to the zoo to porno, I didn’t see the connection and after reading it I still don’t see it. Maybe it’s because I have not been to a zoo since my fifth grade field trip. Notice how I didn’t say I haven’t watched a porno lately.

Should have hit delete there, but I just spilled my coffee and the key is not working properly so it made it in.

Then there is always the great discussions I have with my cubicle cronies. Today it was a debate over decaffeinated coffee. Should there actually be such a thing? Why do people even drink it? To me, coffee tastes like mud and gives you bad breath. The only benefit from drinking it is to stay awake while at work and suppress a hangover. No caffeine — no point. Just like there is no point in dedicating an entire column to decafe coffee.

I hit the backspace key.

With my work day 75 percent over and a deadline looming I began to brainstorm, bite my nails, curse and panic. I do have a lot of ideas, some are not that simple to translate into 500 words. Others just don’t make the PG-13 rating of this paper. Like the one about my gal pal’s boyfriend’s dog who watches them in the bedroom. Yes, I am talking about that and I am surprised if this tidbit even makes it in.

I deleted the rest of the details.

Still a blank screen with a mocking flashing cursor and a headache.

There have been a couple of messy breakups in my clique in the last couple of weeks. That usually is good for inspiration. Both were the dumpee instead of the dumper. Not really sure they would appreciate my spilling their heartbreak horror stories with Greater Lowell.
That story got trashed.

I could talk about the similarities between Miley Cyrus and a pre-K-Fed Britney Spears. Too obvious. I didn’t even begin to write that one.

It is now the end of my day. Still nothing. I was just paid for a day with zero productivity, but I feel like I did a lot more than just nothing.

Is there really such a thing as nothing? E-mail your answers to lowellita@lowellsun.com.

Obama’s girls

Paris Hilton is not hot according to America’s potential future first daughters and they don’t want a piece of Britney Spears either. Presidential hopeful Barack Obama told Us Weekly that his two children are fans of Hannah Montana and Beyoncé, but think anything to do with Hilton or Spears is “yuck.”

The Democratic contender says daughters, Malia, 9, and Sasha, 6, got to meet Beyoncé backstage at a concert and “they just love her to death.”

“They’re pretty down on Britney and Paris and all of that. They think that’s very ‘yuck,”’ he said.

As for his wife, Michelle, Obama said she has a star crush on Stevie Wonder.

“I’ve been teasing her because Stevie fell off the stage at one of our events,” Obama said. “I said to her, ‘This is your favorite performer, and you push him off the stage?’ Fortunately, he was OK.”

The secret? Victoria is too sexy

Could Victoria’s Secret be too sexy?

The lingerie company that made its name by plastering leggy Brazilian glamazons on billboards admits it has pushed the envelope a little to much.

“We’ve so much gotten off our heritage ... too sexy, and we use the word sexy a lot and really have forgotten the ultra feminine,” said Sharen Turney, Victoria’s Secret’s chief executive, in a call with industry analysts.

The chain was started in San Francisco in 1977 by Roy Raymond, who said he was embarrassed trying to buy lingerie for his wife and hoped to provide a comfortable place for men to shop. It was launched with the idea that Victoria was manor-born and lived in London, Turney said. Yet the store is not for the girl next door, selling lacy push-up bras with names like the Very Sexy and Secret Embrace.

“I feel so strongly about us getting back to our heritage and really thinking in terms of ultra feminine and not just the word sexy and becoming much more relevant to our customer,” Turney said Thursday.